This blog has sat quiet for three and a half years. Lots has happened in my life, and I'll probably write about some of the changes as time goes on.
I moved to Mexico for three years, and then back again to the US two years ago. In Mexico, I began to recognize my hyperempathic experiences, which I'll write about one day. Since coming back to the US, I've begun to have mystical experiences as well. An MRI confirmed that there's no physical cause, no tumor pressing on the amygdala or some such. It's been an interesting several years!
The upshot has been a more and more reclusive life. I can't seem to be around people, even over the phone, without taking on their emotions. I can't block it, and it takes me awhile to get back to my joyful self. The upside is that sometimes I help people, and I occasionally get beautiful insights, the latest of which I'm sharing today.
I had a lovely spiritual insight a couple of nights ago. I suddenly "grokked" (my daughter gave me that word, from a Robert Heinlein novel, it means to get something on an empathic level, rather than intellectual). The insight was that all of our perceptions are neurons firing in our heads, our entire perception of the world, including all our memories. It's hard to put into words, these things always are. But I suddenly grokked that none of it is "real" in the everyday meaning of reality. My "reality" is absolutely unique to me, because it comes only from my neurons firing in their own unique way.
I had a vision of a soft white cloth wiping away the dark spots from my brain, cleaning up the detritus. It was lovely and calming, and stays with me. It made sense to me of the Catholic practice of confession and cleansing, which I've never really understood. It's a simplified way to convey the peace that the past doesn't exist, for those who can't grok it.
Thank you for continuing to visit this blog, even when I disappear. I appreciate your interest and support. I can't promise to be consistent in posting. I seem to take on entire personalities, including total disinterest in writing! Arggg. But when I'm joy-filled me again, I'll share.
Wishing you peace and love, and many hugs!